Humbled and Broken

They have tv's in the gym at work which i always stop at glance at on the way to use the bathroom. Normally, people turn it to CNBC and watch stock stuff or espn to watch sports, or whatever. But recently, it's been glued to CNN or fox news. Ever since the hurricane came and went, it's just absolute chaos and complete pandimonium over there. Residents are calling it their "tsunami", but in so many ways, it's actually worse. With the tsunami, water came in quickly, but then back away in most spots. Although it left a path of destruction so unimaginable, the waters receeded. But in New Orleans, water came slowly. Inches at a time. Rising higher and higher. But unlike a tsunami, the water is still there. Reading the news and watching tv, looking at pictures, it's all rooftops amid this gigantic lake of where New orleans once was. It's absolutely ridiculous. People who have died are just left as is by the rescuers, diverting their priorities to finding those who are alive and stranded, not bothering with those beyond saving. It's a truely sad and desperate situation over there.

But what irks me the most, is last week when they were talking about katrina and the possible path and the destruction it would leave in it's wake, the news teams always talked about "doomsday" scenarios about how New orleans would be flooded cuz it's below sea level, etc... and in some sick and stupid way, i was somewhat hoping that it would happen, just to see how bad it could be. I know it's juvenile and a terrible thing to hope for, but there's that little part that says 'what if', and if you remove all the loss of life, loss of property, it would be somewhat of a strange thing to see, almost like the fabled atlantis. But what's going on over there is just disheartening and downright sad. I just want to turn off the tv, stop reading the news, pretend it never happened. But it is happening. And i can't stop watching/reading about it. It's almost as if because i had hoped for it, I need to see the effects of it and see how much hurt is in this world. God really does have a way to hitting where it hurts and showing you your faults in ways you never knew would affect you. This is probably more information than most of you care to know or whatevers, but I figure it's one way to keep me accountable for my sinful foibles.

The world is hurting for God's love.