where's all the snow?!?!?!

WE NEED MORE SNOW!!!!!!!

GO BEARS!!!!!!

Gotta love it... after 7 long, dreary years of sucking it up big time, The Golden Bears have finally retaken the AXE!!!!! What a glorious day it was today, absolutely glorious!!! And to make it even better, i was at my cousin's place (stanfurd alum a few years back), and man, was there some SMACK being laid down!!! BOO-YAH!!!!!!! GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally mashed up my finger yesterday...
And to make the situation even better? This was a place that i was 'volunteering' my help to. The guy wanted me to go to the back and help fix the air compressor which is broken. To make long story short, I screwed up my left ring finger right above the nail, doing something i wasn't even supposed to be doing, and working for free... talk about ill-fated work and i think God was trying to tell me i didn't belong there... Hopefully my hunch is right

Digitally Imported
Awesome site that plays streamed techno/trance. Make 'legal' use of that broadband connection...

What the heck... Roy!!!! Stinkin'!!! Talk about being misquoted:

"Yea, it's really easy man...drums are so easy...cake... You know what you should do? Just think of a beat and play it"

I never said that it was cake. I said listen to beats. Sit down, and try to bang it out. I can't teach you how to play. How do you teach someone rhythm and beats? It's like trying to teach someone how to chew food. You can't sit there and move their mouth up and down, you can only describe it and "hold their hand" through it... Same thing with drums. You just gotta try!! Don't give up roy... need encouragement? I used to suck too, worse than you... and i still can't play guitar.

For all of those out there who say we asians get no media coverage: Here you go!!
Dang, i guess korean soap operas really do influence the population... man we look bad....

So the place i went to was in the BOONIES... right next to the Livermore Lawerence National Lab or whatever. It took me about 50 mins to get there. It's seriously in the middle of nowhere. It's surrounded by a bunch of vineyards, which i guess you could say is the most exciting thing about the place, going winetasting during your lunch break and getting smashed before you head back to work. So anyways, i just went there to meet this guy my dad knew. He just wanted to see my face and get my resume, and that was it. So, after a nice 15 min chat, i'm back on the road, heading back the way i came. Fun stuff, ehhh? And they have a hiring freeze too, so it's gonna be a while before anything happens. Gotta keep them fingers crossed

I got a job interview/opportunity. Finally, something came through, but it's all the way out there in livermore. It's gonna take me about an hr to get there from here, and that's during no traffic. From what i hear, during traffic time, it'll take at least 2 hrs. Sickness... oh well, a job's a job. More about this job business later when i have more news to tell and have a look at this place

I feel sorry for Chin-san...

"Seriously, I have like 12 pounds of frozen ground beef left over from my housewarming a few weeks back... Dave (my apartmentmate) and I have been cooking hamburger helper for weeks and I can honestly say that there is only so much that hamburger can be helped. At this point, I'm thinking about molding the hamburger into the shape of a turkey and calling it Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe that'll help ;) Of course, I'm more than willing to inflict it upon... I mean, serve it to you all.

Bon appetit... ?"

I'm still alive after small group, as is the rest of us... for now

Dang, that was a long post....

I'm probably going to kick myself later for this, but i can't hold it in much longer... sorry well in advance to anyone who this offends or finds downright scandalous, no harm/ill-will intended

In response to someone's blog entry, all I have to say is that the Asian-Man's-Plight (AMP) is a bunch of hoop-la and baloney. If you find this offensive, like i said before, i'm sorry for stepping on your toes. But to hear this argument stated over and over and over, i gotta speak my mind. To all of you out there who claim that we are all suffering from the AMP to the n'th degree, all i have to say is, you are a product of your own destruction. Is there an unwritten yet universally agreed upon societal law/theory that goes to say that the asian man can't get a signficant other beyond his own ethnicity? Why is it that it so happens that it's always a certain few individuals that react so sorely to the mere notion that Asian's are stigmitized by society? What differentiates us in this day in age? What makes our case so special that it merits such a "public outcry" to reap reparations to our image and the likes? Is not all ethnicities the brunt of many injustices? For all of you out there who are thinking that the white man gets his way in everything, umm, since when did all forget about trailer park trash? Or how many more homeless people tend to be of Caucasian descent? When was the last time you saw a homeless latino? asian? I'm sorry, but those who say the white man gets all the glory, I can't agree with that. Sure, the white man may be ruling all the high executive positions and basically running this country. But it's not without merit. They were the ones who made this country great in the first place. They were the ones who laid down the foundations of this capitalistic society, not the asians, not the latinos, not the native americans, but the WHITE MAN. I'm not trying to discredit other races, heck, if someone does it better, more power to them. But one cannot ignore the fact that caucasians basically set up this country and made it to what it is today.
So given that this is white dominated society, that we asians, latinos, etc. are minorities, i find it presumptuous that just because we think we are better, we should be the ones running things around here, doing what we want, when we want, how we want. Many complain that promotions are not dispersed at the same rate as their caucasian counterparts, that just the mere fact of us being a minority discredits our ability to perform. Don't think that all of this is fair? Think this is all a huge injustice? Start your own business/practice then. If you can't the way things are run, then do it your own way. What's to stop you? This is a free country. You say you can't compete? Then answer me how did all those other companies do it? How did they survive? Did they have to complain to their "Foreign" counterparts that things weren't fair? If you work hard, things will happen. That's just a fact. You reap what you sow. Don't expect to bring in millions if you aren't willing to invest the time/effort to warrant such returns. Same thing with Asian-man's-plight. It's what you make of it. If you think that you can't get a certain "genre" of woman, then by-golly, guess what? You're not gonna get that kind of girl. Simple fact. Don't expect girls to come flocking to you and drop at your feet cooking you dinner and being the all-submissive servants you so dreamly hope for. Sure, nice dream, but nothing more. Like everything else in this world, relationships take effort. How can one realistically expect to find a significant other if you're not willing to try? And if you get dumped the first few times around, so what? Doesn't mean you have to blacklist that "type" of girl. Example? Ever wonder why you see some couples who are just mismatched? Probably because the guy wasn't afraid to ask.
It's just my opinion (and it's just that... an opinion) that we Asian men expect too much from too little and have ego's the size of SUV's. You want the white girl? You think it's out of your league? Think it's a social injustice? Think it doesn't exist? Oh, there are plenty of asian guys who have white girlfriends. Take a good look around who you hang out with. You're gonna date the kind of people with whom you associate. Want a white girlfriend? Start making white friends. Or just hit up the local bar/club and just start droppin' those cheesy pick-up lines and gettin' them digits. And i know how the argument goes. You're probably thinking that the media downplays us, that Asians are seen as meek, unsexy, blah blah blah, etc... You know what? You don't like it? Then do something about it. Don't sit there wallowing in your sorrow because the media thinks you're unsexy, cuz then you're just reinforcing the media. And why is it that society finds latino men so attractive? It wasn't always like that... until the introduction of one Antonio Banderas. Who did the latinos play? The maid/cleaning person in the background getting the brunt of the jokes. You're only as disadvantaged as you think you are. Call it the self-fulfilling prophesy, the "shooting-yourself-in-the-foot" phenomenon, whatever. If you want it bad enough, you'll get it. But you're not going to get it just sitting there at the bar, downing happy hour specials drooling over the "plethora of fine white women" while griping with your fellow drinking buddy about the AMP.
I guess my only advice in the end is, do what makes you happy. If it floats your boat, more power to ya. Don't be so preoccupied with other people think of you. You're just gonna be running in cirlces just trying to please other people and "look cool" in front of other. Do your own thing. March to your own drumbeat. Screw everyone else...


But that's just me... I'll shut-up now. i think i've given more than my 2 cents...

Sitting here, listening to the rain, looking at the sky brings back a lot of memories from high school. Only difference? I'm sitting here, not doing any hw, or studying for anything. It's really different, but it's somehow really comforting. It's been over 4 years since a really good storm came through when i was home, so it's just nice to sit at home and notice it like this, instead of a nice distraction from studying. Man, high school were the days. It's funny how much we complained about everything, and swore that college would be a million times better. How little we knew... i look at the high school kids now, and boy, either they're getting smaller and lookin' more like kids, or i'm just getting old... (i think i'm just getting old).

I saw the mailman deliver the mail today. I couldn't help but feel sorry for that guy. He must seriously have the worst job in the world on days like this. Not only do you have to work on days like this, but you have to be outside braving the rain. The only shelter you have is in that funky car/truck/whatever they drive, and the underhang of the building when you deliver the mail. The mail was all soggy too, but i don't think he cared too much. He was sopping wet already, so i don't think he cared too much about our mail. Heck, i wouldn't. I'd just worry about finishing as fast as i could and just going home to get out of the wet jumpers. Some people are seriously crazy though. I was at REI this afternoon, and there were a bunch of people in the store in shorts and t-shirts. I dunno where they're from, but it's winter/fall here, and it's pouring and windy and cold and etc... I think they're just nuts. I need to stop going to REI. Everytime i go in there, i want to buy one of those huge knives and those multitool things, and a new snowboard, since they're all set up for winter.

Man, rain sucks... can't do anything

It needs to snow soon... i'm itching to use that snowboard again

I need to learn how to be more humble...

I've been slammed, thrown around, fed to the lions, and then some, and i'm still as stubborn and ignorant as when i started out. For some stupid reason, i can't let go of the fact that this is God's life, not mine, and that i need to rely on him to get anything done. For all this head knowledge, i'm not making any progress. It's kinda like my job situation. I think the most frustrating part is seeing everyone else who was down and out all of a sudden having their lives turn up, getting jobs, finding a significant other, or both. Don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining about the signficant other bit, but the job part is really eating away at me. I think it's times like these that really define what you're really made of. I mean, just looking around at people with jobs, they have no idea how bad it really is. I was talking with janet today, and she even admits that she's really sheltered, having no sense of how bad this economy really is. Part of it is that people around her have found jobs with relative ease. For that much, i'm really happy for them. I'm really glad people are finding jobs; seeing their lives turn for the better makes me happy, just to see that they're getting out of the slump that we're all in. But at the same time, i can't help but turn to God and scream at Him yelling "when is it my turn??!?!" And then i wisen up and realize it'll only happen when: a) i humble myself, b) truly believe it's up to Him, not me, and c) live out part b). Sad to say, i'm lacking in all three right now. No, this isn't a "pity-me" blog, so if you're feeling sorry for me, don't. A big portion of this slump is totally out of my control anyways. I just happened to pick a really a tremendously awesome year to graduate into an industry that just can't seem to finish trimming the fat. And really, I do have so much to be thankful for, i really can't complain about these little petty things, like i don't have a job or whatevers. I'm living at home. That in-and-of-itself is enough to make up for whatever hardship i'm going through. I'm so incredibly lucky to have parents who are willing to open up arms and take me in again. I've heard of so many stories of people graduating, and their parents saying "no way, not in my house, we're done with you." They feed me, provide a roof over my head, heck, they even turn on the heater. Amazing huh? Koreans, and we actually use our central heating. I'm in good health. I probably haven't been this healthy since elementary school. So the fact that i don't have health insurance really doesn't make any difference. My personal life is going good. All my relationships are going well, girlfriend, old roomies, hs friends, church people, even my sister (haha, just messing with you, pooh-brain). =)
so anyways, getting back to what i was talking about, it amazes me how much i gripe about what's not well in my life, when i should be celebrating how much IS going well. Where am i going with this? I have no idea anymore... I just need to humble myself.

On a whole different note.... man, i'm getting old. I had to take of all the little kids that came by tonight for halloween. That's right, i had to sit there with the bowl of candy, and hand out the little goodies to all those rascals that came by, not to mention wrangling with dog who just sat there barking and trying to "attack" the trick-or-treaters... what a scardy cat, wouldn't even let the kids pet her. Anyways, it's just amazing how much time flies. I remember going around and doing trying to get as much candy as i could possible lug around in that poor-beat-up pillow case. If some poor soul made the mistake of leaving a bowl of candy out on the porch so they didn't have to open the door, me and friends would just raid the bowl and leave like 1 or 2 pieces. Man, we were such jerks. But when you're little, it's all about how heavy your sack is compared to your buddy. Man, i'm getting old....