Wow, it's been a really long time since i blogged... i guess my fingers haven't felt the need to type something out. I've been doing a lot of driving lately, i think i put over 200 miles in 3 days or something like that. It's kinda sad, i'm about to expire my warranty on my car, and it hasn't even been 2 and half years yet. I guess i just like to drive...

What else.. what else...? i dunno, a lots been going on. I think i'm going to work where i interned over the summer last year. It should be good, my boss really wants me back, which is kinda nice. As big-headed as it sounds, you can't help but feel good when someone is willing to pull major strings to get you back... And since i'm going to be living at home, i realize that i have very minimal expenses right now. I honestly don't know what i'm gonna do with all of that money... sometimes i wish maybe i had more of a financial burden to worry about, like loans or something. One of my old high school friends had an interesting comment about this... she said to get a girl-friend who's gonna milk me for all i'm worth... how funny is that =D Maybe one day... but not right now, not yet. I gotta save up my money to go visit my sister and stuff, since now i don't really have a good excuse not to go out there and spend a weekend or whatever. Oh ya, she's gonna milk me for whatever she can get out of me... i think she already has a shopping list of things she wants me to buy for her: tiffany this, tiffany that... what do i look like??!?! a bank?!?! stinkin'............

I'm so glad i'm graduating... finally finishing this 4 year hell, also known as college. Maybe i should have picked a different major.... so many regrets... yet at the same time, i can't complain on the way things turned out. I'm just happy with the current state of things, probably wouldn't change a thing =) All in God's master plan... so it's all good

God is GOOD and AWESOME!!!!

I've been rebuked so many times in the past few days for having such little faith and doubting His soverign and awesome power... "ye of little faith...."

Man, everyone is having computer problems...
my sister's computer just... died... i think. She's calling me a few times a day asking about this, what she should do, should she send it in for repairs, get it fixed, buy a new one... and i'm sitting here in my apt while she's out in Philly complaining to me that "it doesn't work". What am I supposed to do? Sometimes i wonder where 40k worth of private edumacation goes...

Sometimes i wish i lived elsewhere... i hate the trains that go by every 10-15 mins...

Man, a lots been going on lately... but one thought has been clouding my head for the past 2 and half weeks.... i'm tired....

I had steak with Haejin on tuesday. It was refreshing to talk with someone outside of my class, and who could relate to what's going on in my life. It was so random too, but God really does work in mysterious ways, everyday that passes is proof of that. Thanks Haejin!

I have a midterm coming up on tuesday, and today in lecture, the prof seriously lost half the class. He just shakes his hand and all these crazy graphs and weird equations just show up, and i'm sitting there in a half-sleeping stupor just watching it all happen, and like a robot just coping it down. It all looks like squiggly lines to me. If you ask me now what i'm learning, you'll probably have a better answer than me. I'm going to fail, but if i can pass the class, then all is well. I just need to graduate and end this hell that's been dragging on for the past 4 years...

Man, i'm jumping topics today... i guess i just have a lot to say, but nothings really related...
There's this one line in Gladiator that really makes me think... it's when the old fogey Caeser Marcus *what's his name* is sitting there talking with Maximus, and says "What will people say of me when I die? Marcus the Great? Marcus the Conquerer? Marcus the Tyrant?" I think we all are looking for some shred of worth from our peers, to know whether people approve of what we're doing, that what we doesn't go unnoticed. It's really tough personally, on one hand, Jesus tells us to live a selfless existence, to be a servant unto others and love them as He loved us. But there comes a point where our little minds start to wonder if people are just using you for your benevolence, taking advantage of your kindness for their own personal gain. I've been struggling with that a lot for the past week or so. Part of me is screaming at me to be more selfish, to revert back to the way i used to be, constantly watching out for me and jack other people so that i benefit. I just feel like i'm being walked all over and taken as a fool: use and abuse, and toss away when no longer needed. And you know what strikes me the most? It only takes one phrase from someone you care about to make it all worth it... How fickle we humans are...

Behind this happy, big, "nice guy" facade is a world of hurt you have no idea ever existed...

To my princess ---

Sometimes
I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself
How much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find
that I should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be
One of the hive will I choose water over wine
And hold my own and drive
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find
That when I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Yeah whatever tomorrow brings
Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there I'll be there

- Drive Incubus

Back to the daily grind...

So as promised, here the update of my Spring Break. Unfortunately, if you're expecting some great stories about Cancun or something along the lines of "girls-gone-wild", you're reading the wrong blog.
So basically after retreat, i went to philly. I still didn't sleep out there, stupid time differences kept me up all night. On friday, i had lunch with my cousin, her husband, and my niece. Dude, i have stinkin' high rollin' relatives. Both of them are lawyers, and my cousin is the DA of Philadephia. Craziness... so basically if i ever need a hook-up of the 'law' type, i'm covered =D

On saturday, i went to NYC. I haven't been there since middle school, so it was a really different going back and being able to do what i wanted, not what my parents thought would be a good idea to do. I went to Times Square, saw what's left of the WTC, and basically just looked around and shopped. I went with my sister and her 2 roommates, and met up with one of the roommates sisters there, so there was 4 girls and 1 guy. Needless to say, i got dragged around shopping for most of the day since i had no say in anything. They went shoe shopping, bag shopping, clothes shopping... i was about ready to die about then.
I don't know what the whole 'mystique' thing about NYC is. It's just another city, nothing really special about it other than the name. Sure, it's nuts and crazy cuz you see it on tv all the time, but there's nothing 'special' that really stands out. The people there are rude, but no less rude than they are here. Oh well... "big-bad-city".. whatever, London is a much bigger/badder city in my mind.

I need to get some more sleep... still trying to recover from these past 2 crazy, drama-filled, action-packed weeks

Song of the Moment: Just Around the Hill - Sash!