Heavy Eyes

I should go home soon...

otherwise this is gonna be me soon

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Just Wasting Time

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

The Keys to Your Heart

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

A Continual Longing

Today at church, we had a commissioning service to send out Jongmin and Grace. They'll be heading out to Jordan for 3 years and 1 year, respectively. I find it amazing that God moves in people the desire to go out and minister to other nations. It's an true blessing to see people convicted and moved to go out and deliver the good news to other nations, especially islamic states. I don't believe that I've ever been convicted enough to do something like that. My level of missions committment has always been witnessing to my friends through my actions and deeds, how I live my life and how my faith guides my life.

In this journey of life, i find myself constantly wandering. Always griped with a sense of bewilderment like a deer in the headlights, and at the same time childish arrogance. For some reason, we always think that we know what is best for us. Being at home living my parents, I find that I really don't know what i want. I don't know what i want. My parents, althought not being actively present for the better part of the last 7 years, still know what's best for me. I find it absolutely amazing that they say one thing, and i try with utter futility to try to say that's not who i am, but yet, that's exactly what i need.

Being on worship team has been a blessing in more ways than one. It helps me bring into focus what is most important. It's not about me, the music, the volume of my drumming, the songs we sing, the balance of the mix or the reaction from the congregation. It's about Him and Him alone. We are merely there to help faciliate worship. In so many ways, it's extremely easy to forget this and become preoccupied with all the things that don't matter. It doesn't make any difference how much energy we pour into making things sound good, it's still just noise in the ears of God without the right attitude. It's sad just how frequently I need to remind myself of this fact. It's not about the music. It's about praising God. And nothing else.

I wander around a lot. But it consoles me to know that somehow, someway, I find my way back to Him.

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

©1999 MercyMe

A longing

Anyone want to go to Yosemite? I've been itching to go up there and just enjoy the sights/sounds/views.

Thinking of just doing a day trip, heading up there sat morning, taking a few pictures, feeling the mist from the falls, and heading back.

I'm probably crazy, but in my book, we're all allowed some.

Adjust the bass and let the alpine blast...

The camera pans the cocktail glass,
behind a blind of plastic plants;
I found the lady with the fat diamond ring.
then you know I can't remember a damn thing.
I think it's one of those de ja vu things,
or a dream that's tryin' to tell me something.
Or will I ever stop thinkin' about it.
I don't know, I doubt it.
Subterranean by design,
I wonder what I would find if I met you,
let my eyes caress you,
until I meet the thought of Missess Princess Who?
Often wonder what makes her work.
I guess I'll leave that question to the experts,
assuming that there are some out there.
they're probably alone, solitaire.
I can remember when I caught up
with a pastime intimate friend.
She said, "Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
but you probably don't think nothin' of me."
She was right, though, I can't lie.
She's just one of those corners in my mind,
and I just put her right back with the rest.
That's the way it goes, I guess.

Baby you send me
Set adrift on memory bliss of you

Careless whisper from a careless man,
a neutron dance for a neutron fan;
marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that she's not dreaming.
She's got an ace in the hole,
it doesn't have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
'cause complete control, I don't take too kind.
Christina Applegate, you gotta put me on.
Guess who's piece of the cake is Jack gone?

She broke her wishbone and wished for a sign.
I told her whispers in my heart were fine.
what did she think she could do?
I feel for her, I really do.
And I stared at the ring finger on her hand,
I wanted her to be a big PM Dawn fan,
but I had to put her right back with the rest.
That's the way it goes, I guess.

Baby you send me...
Set adrift on memory bliss of you

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss

I'm glad that summer has finally arrived. Hot summer days, playing out in the sand/grass. It's something about the summer that always has this relaxing feel to it. I feel myself slowing getting lazier and lazier and the weeks go by. I think my laziness is directl proportional to the temperature outside. It's a crime to shove all these working people inside the stuffy building and confine them to cubicles while these little kids are playing outside in the sun. What a shame.

I'm trying to do work right now, but can't seem to get anything done. I popped in an old cd that i had made a few years back, and it's full of old school tracks that should be played at high volumes while driving slowly. Ahhh.... summertime =) Something about these melodies brings me back to the good ol' days of summer bliss.

But while we're talking about summer and warm weather and everything that it implies, I went and visited the new KCPC building site. We've been talking about moving in for so long, and each move-in date they give us is postponed by at least another month. Does it exist? It is a figment of our collective imagination? Are the photos they post in the lobby just a cheap photoshop trick? Let me say it does exist. It's actually there. Right there at 50 northridge. Although i've never seen the old buildling, it's exciting to see a church building there again. Perched atop a cliff which continues to recede into the vast expanse of the pacific ocean, there the building sits. It's nearing completion, and should hopefully move in within the next month or two (we seriously should start putting together a pool for a solid move-in date, winner gets do-no-dishes-for-a-year pass).

BUT!!!!





where oh where... is summer?

Office Space

I've been hearing horror stories about other people's experiences about how the office environment is cut-throat, tiring, the unpleasable boss, the corrupt coworkers, etc... But is it really that bad? After all, you're spending more time with these people, doing whatever you're doing that anybody else, whether it be your family, friends, roommates, pets, or imaginary friends. I've been bracing myself for when i'll be hit with the reality of all this work and disappointment with the working environment..,

But in some ways, I've been truely blessed in where I work. There's all these little things that make up for all the hard work we do here, meeting deadlines and excecuting impossible work plans. For instance, my group always eats lunch together. Like clockwork, around 12:15-30, we all file into the cafeteria, get our food, sit down and eat. We tend not to let other people from different groups eat with us. We analog guys are a bit exclusive. But there's only 12 of us. I think we're entitled to a little exclusiveness.

But then there are just things that really remind me how great it is to be working here. This past friday, my group took off around 1pm to go watch Batman Begins. Not only did we get to watch a movie, but the boss paid for it, and it was during office hours. We basically got a half day out of it. It's kind of lame how such a small thing like a movie can improve morale, but it really does go a long long way. I'm quite impressed on how well they (the company) takes care of it's employee's. Coming up in september, my group is going on vacation again. We're currently discussing where to go for this years trip, but Vegas is currently at the top of the list. I'm really excited about that and the prospect of getting some R&R in sin city.

Another highlight from this weekend was seeing an oddity of the natural world.


This is some weird and rare flower that only blooms every 7-10 years. What's even more bizarre is that it produces an odor that smells like rotting flesh, or an overturned port-a-pottie. Either way, it's pretty foul. Most of time, you'll probably want to be wearing one of these...


When I went to go visit this thing, the smell had already passed since the thing only stinks for a few hrs, and then it shrivels up and dies and goes dormant for another 7-10 years. Truely a weird and interesting thing. Nobody I asked wanted to go see this thing. But then they all see the pics and go 'wow'. I personally was disappointed that it didn't smell. I was hoping to getting a whiff of this thing and say that I had the opportunity to experience something extraordinary, but nope. Just a plain ol' funny looking thing in a humid room. But that's okay.

The Kongs came back from their vacation in Hawaii. The kids are super super dark. They're darker than most of us. It's pretty embarassing. It's nice to have the kids back again. After all, how can you not miss this face?

Celebrity Sighting

Tonight I went to go see Pete Escovedo and his family at Yoshi's in downtown oakland.


It was an amazing set. A blend of both latin, jazz, salsa, whatever... it was just amazing. Not only this guy rocking for a ripe of 70, he also had his kids up there banging away with him. Needless to say, it was breathtaking.

But as if great music and amazing showmanship wasn't enough, the evening was graced by


Yup. The legend himself. Prince was at the show, soaking up the great tunes and amazing vibe that this family gives off. I don't know how you can listen to this music and not nod your head, tap your feet, clap your hands and get up to dance. What a way to end an amazing day. Words simply cannot describe what an awesome experience this was. So much talent packed into a tiny room, and sitting less than 10ft away from Prince. All for a measly 20 bucks. Can't beat that....

Your Grace Is Enough

Great is your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember your people
Remember your children
Remember your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Great is your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of your salvation
And all your people sing along

Your Grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your Grace is enough for me

God, I see your grace is enough
I'm covered in your love
Your grace is enough for me

For me

- Chris Tomlin

Quarter Century Passes

This weekend was a great flurry of activity. Had an amazing time, but having a 4 day weekend just made it that much better. For some reason, the office decided that tuesday would be a holiday, so while most everyone i knew was back at work, i had another day to relax and savor my first days off since work started.

Quick recap:

Friday - Stupidly agreeing to head out to Stanford Shopping Center and watch my friend and her roommie go shopping. At least i got some good dinner and cheesecake out of it.

Sat - Fillmore Jazz Festival. There were some AMAZING musical acts there. By far my favorite was the cuban band, playing their latin groove. I think it's one thing to listen to a recording, but watching/listening to a live band, there's just no way to describe it. It's just awesome to be in that kind of atmosphere. There's just no way you can stand still listening to this music. Just makes you get up and dance. In addition to all that great music, there were some major barbeque pits going as well, inundating the whole area with smells of smoke, ribs, and sauce. What a tease...

After the jazz festival, ended up going to the beach at night with some old church buddies. didn't do a whole lot since the beach/park ranger showed up and kicked us off around 1am, but still had a fun time with the bonfire and lighting firecrackers/works/bottle rockets/smoke bombs/etc... Something about being on the sand and having the waves lick your feet, it's very relaxing and theraputic. Such a shame that it was so dark though

Sun - KCPC Summer Picnic. Quite a contrast from the Jazz Festival. Instead of a whole lot of black people, it was a whole lot of korean people. And korean food. Good stuff. Played stupid korean games i.e. tug-of-war, carry-the-kid-in-towel relay, hula-hoop contests (the little kids are freaking crazy at this), misc. relay games and the likes. Since the park we had the picnic was next to SFO, spent a lot of time watching the airplanes land. Went home and slept the rest of the afternoon. I think i had way too much sun all at once. I think i'm spending too much time indoors.

Monday - 4th of July BBQ. Went to another outdoor event. Met up with some high school friends, and ended up meeting people from Cal that i recognized, but didn't know personally. Someone set up the bbq and made a vain attempt at cooking some food on it. Grill got so hot that the tin-foil we put on kept melting away. Talk about flash-cooking. I think just about all the hair on my right hand burned away. Afterwards, watched fireworks at Shoreline. Times must be really tough, since the fireworks display only lasted about 10 minutes. It was probably one of the most sorry fireworks display in recent memory. But apparently it was one of the only decent displays around, since there were THOUSANDS of people there, and since it's in the middle of nowhere, no choice but to drive. Spent the next hr and half sitting in the most inefficiently managed road blocks attempting to go half a mile to get to the freeway. There was a cop sitting behind me who looked even more frustrated than me. Even if he wanted to turn on his lights and zoom away, fat chance. Absolute gridlock. All i could think was "what a waste of gas"

Tuesday - Relished the fact that I still had the day off while most everyone else was back at work. Played a little bit of the 18 holes with my dad. Golf is such a ridiculous thing. The only redeeming factor of the day was the golf cart (can't stress enough how fun these things are), and that when you add a little bit of beer and sun to the mix, you get some great results. The only downer of the day was losing more golf balls than i have fingers, and being held up constantly by a bunch of korean ah-juh-shees who couldn't figure out how to putt efficiently.

So to quickly sum things up, I ended up eating bbq everyday this weekend, was outside more hrs than the past 4 months, and burned like a bundt(?) cake. My ears are peeling, as well as my nose, my scalp... it's pretty gross. Thankfully for you, no pictures.

But i'll leave you with some other ones which are more pleasant.

Slip and Slide

This is truely bizarre yet so fascinating at the same time

http://www.izpitera.ru/lj/tetka.swf